This might have been an enjoyable popcorn movie had the main character not been such a dick. I guess the screen writer forgot audiences like to cheer on the protagonist.

Maybe it’s indicative of this generations (millennials) tendency to be self absorbed? How can I make such an assumption? Well lets look at another movie that revolves around a self centered dick, Confessions of a Shopaholic. Both movie seem to be targeting a young demographic and suffer from the same main character personality flaw. Not convinced? Watch the clip below.

Watch CBS News Videos Online

A visually beautiful, narrative mess best describes Across the Universe. With a cliched plot that only serves to connect one Beatles classic to another this film takes its cues from Las Vegas / Broadway musicals that place importance on spectacle over substance.

I can only recommend this film to those that don’t mind watch one Gap / Old Navy commercial after another.

I should probably start out by saying Quantic Dream, developers of Heavy Rain, should be commended for trying something new and innovative. Sadly their efforts comes up short. I wanted to like this game but I couldn’t ignore it’s flawed control scheme and game design.

Problems
1) The voice acting is rubbish.
2) The fixed camera is a fucking annoyance. It’s 2010 for pete’s sake.
3) The controls are rubbish.
A) I understand Quantic Dream was trying something different but for all the “innovation” it’s still employing a quick time event-driven control scheme.

B) Forcing me to hold the controller in odd ways to create a sense of urgency, panic or difficulty isn’t innovation it is poor game design. When 99% of the games on a system use a certain control scheme forcing users to use a different and unnatural control scheme is ridiculous. It’s like asking a person to drive a car only using his feet. Sure it can be done but that doesn’t make it a good idea.

Imagine playing DDR or Guitar Hero with a controller? Sure you could but instead developers opted for a controller that felt natural and more importantly complemented / heightened the game experience. Now I’m not suggesting Quantic Dream bundle a new controller but maybe they should have opted for a different control scheme or perhaps a different platform. Cough cough, Wii?

4) The dialog system is silly.
For over twenty years games have employed a dialog tree and the simple act of making them spin around the screen on a 3D plane to simulate thoughts flying around a characters mind is a novelty. All you accomplish is frustrating the user.

The Critics
I know this game has gotten a ton of critical acclaim but this is an example of game critics failing to be objective. I think it is safe to say we all want the medium to experiment and try new things but rewarding / praising broken games doesn’t foster that so much as encourage bad game design.

Conclusion
Heavy Rain isn’t entirely bad. It has some fun moments but so did Dragons Lair. The many quarters lost at the arcade serve as proof that quick time events are fun and addictive.

The Plot: An elderly New Zelander is determined to pursue his dream of breaking the land speed record for motorcycles with engines less than 1000 cc.

My Impression: How could you not enjoy watching Anthony Hopkins play a lucky, fool hearted, brass ball, motorcycle riding, old coot?

In no way perfect, The Worlds Fastest Indian does enough right to warrant a viewing. Although I should mention I have a soft spot for these feel good movies. My fondness for these movies is so great I often overlook flaws that would normally drive me insane.

Stardust is a great fantasy movie that made me feel like a little kid. Now before you go out and rent it, keep in mind it is a fantasy movie for kids. So don’t curse my name and rue the day you met me when you hear some of the cheesy dialog and lame jokes.

Is it me or did this movie feel like The Princess Bride?