Today I went to a creative offsite at Carolines Comedy Club, saw Vanessa Carlton play live, attended a happy hour/industry party, went on a first date and dropped by a friend’s birthday party. Not to shabby for a Thursday. 
Highlights
- The look on Robbie’s face when Pegi replied to my “I’m bored entertain me” txt.
- The “band leader” feeling I got when I gather a group of co-workers to attend this industry party
- Getting a compliment on my blog.
I’m embracing the fact I’m a social butterfly. I’ve always been this way but somehow I forgot that when I was with my ex-wife. And now I’m starting to get it back. I think I might have mentioned it in a previous post but if I didn’t I’m sure I spoke with a friend about it.
I got invited to another Sony BMG Latin record release party and these events are always a mixed bag for me. Free booze, good music and tons of eye candy always make me happy. But at the same time I’m reminded of how “non-Hispanic” I am.
Not getting into too much detail the same thing happens every party. I hit the bar, get a drink and start up conversation with the closest woman. Normal right? Wrong! Here’s where it falls apart. Most, if not all the women at these parties are Hispanic and as soon as I open my mouth they get confused.
- I don’t look like your typical Hispanic. Yes of course they’re those that realize I am Ecuadorian. But those are few and far between.
- Not to sound fucked up but I don’t sound Hispanic. I don’t have an accent; I have a vocabulary larger than most of them and my speech patterns are different.
- I don’t dress like most Salsa, Bachata, Merengue and Reggaeton fans. I have my own style that ranges from skate boarder dude to Banana Republic preppie.
For a while I’ve joked that Hispanic girls hate me but I’ve realized that it isn’t that they hate me. It has more to do with social dynamics on a small scale.
Society loves to romanticize the idea that opposites attract but for the most part that’s bullshit. We tend to seek out people of similar tastes, interests, appearance and mannerisms.
To these Hispanic girls I am a total question mark. A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. I don’t look, speak or dress like anyone they know. And within seconds all attraction they might have had goes out the window. This isn’t to say I can’t hold a conversation but it’s clear it has no future other than friendship.
So where am I going with all this? Nowhere! It’s just a rant and a realization that they don’t hate me they just don’t understand “me.” The only reason it irks me is cause I am Hispanic.
I got home after work and was really looking forward to watching Paprika but my 360 died. I’ve had this happen to me three times and each time it has been for different reasons. The first was a disc drive issue. The second is still a mystery and now I’ve finally have gotten the dreaded red ring of death.
Normally I would be going ape shit but I have my shiny new PS3. I would also like to add that I got my 360 for free.
Many of my friends always ask me which is the best system and my answer is the 360. That being said the PS3 is starting to win me over. In no way am I saying its better (it isn’t) but it does have its strengths and one of those is Blu-ray. I never believed the hype but I popped in Bladerunner Final Cut on Blu-ray and then the DVD version to compare them. I was floored.
It was like the first time you saw a DVD and compared it to VHS, mind blowing. The clarity was nuts. On top of that this is a re-mastered old movie. I can’t wait to see a modern movie or a Pixar movie that is all digital.
So I didn’t have any work today and I am starting to get a bit worried about my job. On top of that I spoke to my ex-wife and she informed me she got a full time gig at Microsoft making mad bank. I’m really happy for her and deep down I know she deserves to be making even more.
That being said I’m pissed. I had to listen to her bitch and moan when we were married about her “lack of talent.” I had to hear how envious she was of my job (it was her dream). I swear, had she had the fucking courage to do something about it when we were married instead of complain, we would still be married. The cherry on top of this nightmare sundae is her recent decision to wait till she is 35 to have kids.
UNFUCKING REAL.
Now I’m not upset that she is happy or making bank I am pissed that I had to deal with that shit and how amazingly easy her life has been. I’ve come to realize that I’m really unlucky. I think I have the best parents in the world but aside from that I’ve been getting fucked in the ass by fate from day one.
I know I sound bitter and filled with rage and I am. But the difference is I won’t allow it to consume me and make me bitter. I just need to keep moving.
I am not sure if she will read this entry but if she is, CONGRATUALTIONS
Breaking News: My ex-wife wrote, “I loved you so much I didn’t concentrate on myself. I will never love anyone as much as you”. That’s sweet but I wish she would have loved me less.
I met Amy at the Whitney and we took in two exhibits:
Kara Walker: My Complement, My Enemy, My Oppressor, My Love
The work was provactive but the subject matter, a commentary on race, felt a bit stale.
&
Lawrence Weiner: AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE
I enjoyed this exhibit but only after thinking long and hard. It hurt my head but I feel I exercised my mind and came away enriched. I think most people wouldn’t even consider his work “art” but it challenged me and isn’t that what art is suppose to do?
I’ve always wanted to try a party bus and thanks to Robbie I got my chance. It wasn’t what I expected but it still turned out great. I got banged up on beer and listened to these two guys on the bus belt out original tunes. My fav was beers and boobs, boobs and beers.
I had a really good time.
Saw another apartment. I was really excited about this place since it was all brand new. The only problem was I had to pay my heat and hot water. Now at first it didn’t sound so bad since it was brand new but I just remember getting raped at my old place during the winter. I decided to pass. I don’t think I will ever find a place.
Al instant messaged me today about a surprise he had for me. I love surprises.
We met me at the Cooper Door after work and he gave me a copy of Burnout Paradise for the 360. Al made my day!
I think he could have given me lint and I would have been happy. OK maybe not but the fact that he thought of me was really awesome. It was a really rough week and all the apartment hunting took a toll on me. Morale was low and this little surprise really helped.
As a side note, we met at the Cooper Door for another going away party. People are quitting left and right. Maybe I should polish off that resume and update my website.
Morning
I got into work early and finished up those wire frames. I’m excited to see Mihoko. We ended things on a bad note last time and I felt bad about it. I’m hoping we can patch things up over dinner at Sapa.
She is leaving to San Francisco tomorrow and I would hate it if she left thinking I was an asshole. I just think we had a misunderstanding.
Evening
I was running a bit late but M was cool. Dinner was good and she looked amazing. I apologized for my behavior and she felt bad as well. We hit Key Bar for drinks and met up with Al and Pab. Pab showed us his dance moves, which were hilarious.
I took M home to Hoboken for the last time. I didn’t get home till 4:30. I’m going to be fried at work tomorrow.
So it seems my bad luck from last night has followed me into a new day.
8:45 am
Woke up and realized I had a meeting with my boss at 10. Running late and feel bummed about the last nights apartment fiasco.
9:15 am
Waiting on train platform. I can still make this meeting
9:45 am
Train finally arrives. I am so fucked.
10:05 am
Begin to sweat excessively cause I’m only at 125th street and my meeting is starting.
10:25 am
Running to office even though I know the damage has already been done. Mentally prepare myself for the disciplinary action (sounds kinky).
10:28 am
The meeting was moved
10:30 am
No one even realized I was late but I’m all stressed and high-strung now.
12:30 pm
Busy, will get lunch later.
1:30 pm
Got nails done hoping it would calm me down. No such luck.
2:30 pm
Meeting
3:30 pm
Got shit on. I have to do some wire frames and they need to be done by tomorrow morning. This would be OK if people would provide me with info. Need to go to another meeting to try and sort out what they need from me
4:30 pm
Finally got to have lunch.
4:45 pm
Finally begin working
7:15 pm
Totally forgot about dinner plans. Will have to come back after dinner
7:30 pm
Meeting Theresa and Lisa for dinner at Giorgio’s of Gramercy. It’s restaurant week and Lisa has always wanted to go. The cheddar soup was excellent; the gnocchi with rabbit was delicious. The chocolate desert was simply amazing possibly the best deserts I’ve ever had. I am convinced it was laced with crack.
10:30 pm
Need to go back to work but I was so tired I decided to get in early and finish it tomorrow.
I guess my day wasn’t so bad.
Yesterday I wrote this blog about evil people being a necessary in helping us appreciate life more and boy oh boy does life have a sick sense of humor.
After writing the blog I went apartment hunting. I’ve been looking off and on for four months and to say it’s painful is putting it lightly. My realtor showed me two shit holes but the last one was as close to perfect as you are going to get in Sunnyside. Upon entering my eyes lit up and that was to be my undoing. As soon as she saw that glimmer in my eyes her fee of one month magically transformed to the bullshit standard of 15%. Needless to say I walked away apartment less and totally dejected.
Beaten, distraught and hungry I looked for comfort food to help me through this painful time. White Castle appeared magically and turned out to be a bad idea. I felt like a husband that takes his aggression out on his wife by beating her. Why did I ingest this “food” knowing full well that no good could come of it? I guess its true, you hurt the ones you love. Sorry tummy.